"Hide the Government Cheese"

Story: How to Date A Whitegirl, Browngirl, Blackgirl, or Halfie
Author: Junot Diaz
Published: New Yorker


This short story is so great. I was assigned to read it for my English class, so I went looking for it online because I don't have the book. What I found was much better than the book, it was a recording by the author himself.

This short story is an instructional guide for a boy from the Dominican Republic, living outside of Union City on how to go on a date with a girl whether she's White, Black, Brown or Mixed. It's so great because it's so honest. The author talks about hiding government cheese, where to take her for a meal depending on where she's from, and how to get in her pants. It's honesty brings a great social commentary on Class, Race, Age and insecurities that come with all three. Hope you all enjoy.

"Some Time's You Don't Realize What You've Done, Until You See the Damage"

Song: Damage
Artist: Chris Brown
Album: Exclusive

I wrote this Senior Year of high school, I know it needs work, but I thought it was cute..I can't believe I forgot all about it.

She sat on the train, iPod blaring with thoughts running. Why did she ever come to New York? There was nothing felt but the cold attitude of the people, and the raindrops. She hated the raindrops, every time they touched her they washed away her old-self and replaced it with a cold, dirty, New York exterior. She got off the subway and started walking to her studio. Her empty studio. Many would say she was one of the lucky ones, an apartment in Manhattan without anyone to share it with. Peace. But everytime she climbed those stairs (as she was now) she thought of the vast emptiness. She opened the door to a silent un-cheery room. Nothing greeted her but the blank white walls. “I love New York.” She sarcastically murmured as she walked to her bedroom. As she stepped through the entryway a clean white bed frame claimed attention in the center of the room. Dressed in pastel blue bed sheets with soft white lines drifting over its curves the bed was a beloved sight to see. She dropped her thick black bags and splayed out on her bed for a little rest and recovery. She closed her eyes and smiled for the first time all day.

Her thoughts drifted towards the noises blaring outside her window. This was New York? Where was the impeccably styled Carrie Bradshaw? Where were the starving artists that were so talented they would definitely get signed…tomorrow? Why did people make all of those movies about happy New Yorkers, with great apartments, great jobs, great clothes, great everything. Every New Yorker she knew was just getting by, regretting they ever came here.

“Knock, Knock” Came a voice from the front parlor, bringing her thoughts back from the winding tangent they took. She got up from her bed, and placed her feet on the cold hardwood floor, and walked towards the parlor. She was greeted by the sight of her 20-something delivery boy, Pete, holding a bag of takeout. “You left your door open again, you’ve got to stop doing that.” He said the best fatherly voice he could muster. “I know, I’m just really out of it.”

“Hmm… I hope you haven’t been ordering from Samson’s Delivery service.”

“Haha, nothing like that” she laughed as his allusion to one of her favorite movies, and said. “You know, it’s just this place, there’s no life in it.” Pete stared around at he apartment. "White, white everywhere. Yeah. I mean it could use a bit of sprucing up, some color here, a plant there…” Pete said as he moved to sit down on her barstool. He was rudely cut off, “Not the apartment dummy, New York.” She said, as she sat down to join him. “New York? No life?” Pete looked at her with feigning extreme shock while downing one of the egg rolls he brought her. “You’ve got to be kidding me, there’s so much here, you’ve got the world on a string, I mean, as Sinatra would say.”

She loved Sinatra, and that’s what she loved about Pete, Pete just knew what she loved. “Pete, you know, you’re pretty much my only friend here.” He looked up, from inhaling her Mushu Pork, “What all the girls at the job are dainty bitches?” “Yeah, basically.” She stared off into space, forgetting about New York, and focused on the Georgia magnet on her refrigerator. Pete was talking incoherently in the background. “Hmm this the part where I’m supposed to say you’re beautiful, you’re young, and we should go out for drinks and have a good time. But you know, that I know I’ll never be able to get you to do that.”

She wasn’t even listening; she was lost in a warm sunshine-y world filled with good friends and love. Pete continued, “I mean, I can already predict what you’re gonna do tonight. At 10:30 your going to be curled up in front of the TV watching the soap opera channel while talking to the oh-so-perfect-Austin.” Austin. His name went through her mind like a bullet, and brought her back to her apartment. “Austin? What about Austin?” There was a spark in her eyes. “Oh come on!” Pete pretended to fall off of his chair. “Austin is all the way in Georgia and you’re here. Oh and did I forget to mention, you’re Just Friends and have been for how long? There are a million eligible bachelors in New York and your still suck on some down-home country boy who doesn’t give a damn about you!” Pete’s words stung, but he was right. Austin was a just a Georgia wisp that would never take shape or amount to anything, yet she couldn’t stop thinking about him. What could she do? What would she do? Her brain spun in thousands of directions, she didn’t want to be miserable forever.

She turned to look at Pete, but he was getting up from the stool and heading towards the door. “I love our little chit-chats but I gotta go. Speaking of life in New York, there’s a little piece of it named Charlene...I mean Deborah who’s waiting for me on the back of my bike downstairs.” He flashed her a winning smile, and ran out the door. In a state of shocked disbelief, she rummaged around the contents of the take-out bag seeing if Pete had left her anything, Nothing.

"Shake Shake Shake Shake-a Shake it"

Song: Shake It
Artist: Metro Station
Album: Metro Station

New Part in the College Story

Paul came around Janay’s truck and glanced over at the nervous girl holding a conversation with her. She looked up at him, and their eyes met for a split second only to simultaneously draw away. That split-second stare sent a chain reaction through his body, triggering key memories of melodic laughter, a genuine smile, small hands, and a warm heart. The reaction took a more devious turn and made a beeline for his stomach, twisting it in dozens of knots that would confuse a prepared boy scout. He snapped out of his daze only to hear the high-pitched giggling of the two hysterical drunk girls in the back seat.

“Hey Paul, how’s it going! Cheated on anybody lately!?” the girls kept their cheerful tone, but were obviously up to no good. He opened his mouth to respond but he was beat to his mark, “Shut up before I leave your asses on this curb and make you walk home.” Vanessa was huffing, and gave them a piercing stare of which Paul silently wished he was on the receiving end. Why did she save him? He had done nothing to gain her trust and friendship back, but she still saved him. He looked back at her, but she was intensely speaking with Janay, she wouldn’t even look at him. “I’d almost like it more, if she’d hate me,” he inwardly thought. Trying to deftly think of a way out of this increasingly awkward situation, he interrupted the two girls. “Thanks for walking with me, but I think I’m gonna pass on the food, I’ll see you guys later.” Paul quickly walked up the street to the gate of his dorm, mentally kicking himself for being so stupid.

…

Vanessa did a double take as he got out of the car and came around next to her. “What the hell is he doing here?” she thought. Trying to remain focused, she intently stared at Janay while she kept talking about nonsense. “Don’t look at him, don’t look at him,” she kept telling herself, but by some involuntary action her eyes scanned upwards and they connected with his. A shooting pain went straight to her heart, and all of her good feelings about the night dissipated completely. All she felt now was pain, grief, lovesickness, resentment, and even though she denied it, a pang of longing.
She unknowingly watched him walk away until Janay’s voice snapped her back into reality. “Okay, I’ll take them, where do you need to go anyways?”

Waiting for the Sun to Rise.

It was hot, that uncomfortable hot, when your clothes stick to you and you contemplate cutting your hair off to save a few degrees. I sat at my window hoping for anything that resembled a breeze. The orange glow from the streetlight was my only companion in this night venture, and even it flickered and went out from time to time. Desperate for something to hold on to, I lit a cigarette and watched the smoke rise lazily from it's stem. It seemed as while everyone was sleeping, the earth slowed down to have a break. The earth and I had that in common, my life was too fast, and it needed to slow down, these were the only moments I had to myself. It was 4:52, there were no sounds of clocks ticking, faucets dripping, or any human sound whatsoever. The refrigerator kicked on, but I'd hardly consider that life like. I sat there inhaling and wondering, what would life be like had I been normal

"It Won't Be Over Till That Big Girl In Decatur Sings"

Song: Elevator

Artist: Outkast

Album: ATLiens

Disclamer: The Due Date came and this was all I had. I don't like it at all. It's a work in progress.

Edward put his pencil down and glanced up over his desk, he was searching for someone, anyone really that he knew. Unlike a lot of other people, he hated doing work when he was alone, he’d much rather work with someone else. It motivated him. He saw a familiar figure walking towards him with a bright smile and a wave. It was Janay, a girl from his Western Lit class. From what he could tell, she was pretty smart; she always spoke up and could write pretty well. She was really bubbly most of the time but had mood swings that would even make Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde search for refuge.
She walked over to his desk and stared at his blank paper, “Studying not going so well?” she asked. “It looks that bad?” he asked sheepishly. “Naw, I just can’t study either, I’m callin’ it quits and getting some wings, you down for the cause?” He closed his book, and immediately started packing up, “Most Def.” They walked out of the library into the icy air, “I never thought I’d see the day when it was too cold to snow.” Janay exclaimed distantly. He was going to reply, but she seemed in her own little world. They walked to Janay’s car in silence, watching their breath turn to clouds every time they exhaled. “Ya know, when I was little and it was this cold, my best friend and I would stand at the bust stop with pens in our mouths, and pretend we were smoking.” She laughed to herself, “We thought we were so cool.” Her random thoughts were throwing him off. He had nothing to respond to so he just laughed and said, “I can see that.” She cocked her head and stared at him for a second, and then went around to open the driver’s side door.
“Hey JANAY!” a voice rang out, as a black coupe pulled up next to them filled with giggles and slurred words. Two very drunk girls were yelling out their windows, while the driver was getting out of her seat. Vanessa skipped over to her window and gave her a puppy dog look that couldn’t be resisted by the devil himself. “Nay, I need you to do me a big favor. Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dee, decided to get smashed at Paulie’s and I need you to take care of them.” Vanessa pleaded.

It's been a long time comin'

“Ari!” Nia yelled, “Hey ARI!” She yelled again. Ariana kept walking, bopping her head to the beat that only she could hear. Nia ran to catch up with her, and tapped her on the shoulder. Ariana took one head phone out of her ear, "WHAT!?" she yelled, oblivious to the fact that she was ridiculously loud. Nia laughed and then remembered what she was about to say.“Hey Loser.” She said out of breath, “What are you about to go do?”

“I dunno, I was thinking about heading to the Library and finishing my English paper.” Ariana said with feigned innocence. Nia rolled her eyes, “Screw that, we’re going to get fuucked up.” Ariana laughed and pulled out her phone, paused and said, “Aight, I just have to call Pete and tell him I’m not coming.” Nia raised an eyebrow questioningly, “Pete? Sketchy Drunk Pete?” she asked. “Uh, I guess if you want to put it like that, he’s kinda legit.” Nia chuckled and walked towards the parking lot. She was the only one of them with a car, since she got a parking pass from one of her teammates. “Fuck that,” Nia said, “If we’re gonna drink, we need a driver.” They both thought for a minute, and then said in unison “Let’s call Vanessa!”

Two hours later the three of them were at a local bar that turned a blind eye to the lovely underage college students who attracted a rather sizable crowd. Nia and Ariana had a couple of drinks, and hadn’t even dropped a dollar thanks to a group of drooling boys who were simply “watching the game.” Vanessa sat at the bar staring at her glass of soda and brooded over James again. “Ness!” Nia giggled, “That boy over there is staring at you!” In their tipsy state, Ariana and Nia’s were about as subtle as two freight trains and a tractor-trailer as they pointed and eyed the young man staring at Vanessa. Vanessa didn’t even look up but just kept staring at her glass. “Ness, did you hear Nia? He’s like intensely staring at you.” Vanessa sighed, “So,” Ariana huffed and went back to her drink, but Nia started fiercely poking Vanessa’s shoulder. “Nessie! Oh my god he’s fucking cute and he’s coming over here!” The young man stood up and started to walk to the bar. He was about 6’2”, well built, and tan. He looked he just jumped out of an Abercrombie poster, except he actually had found some clothes to wear, which he filled out quite nicely. He had piercing green eyes, lush lips, and a captivating smile to boot.

Mr. Abercrombie sat down on the stool next to Vanessa but she didn’t even look up. He tried to make conversation, “Hey, your name is Vanessa right?” She turned her head, looking for the first time at the gorgeous man in front of her with a puzzled look on her face. “Yes, how did you know that?” Nia and Ariana giggled behind her and started whispering. “Well you’re in my Calc class, and I just notice every time the professor calls your name.” Vanessa smiled, she had to admit it was a pretty good pick up line, but it was a pick up line all the same. “Oh that’s nice,” she curtly responded. Nia grabbed her arm and pulled her aside. “Why did you just do that?” She whispered not so quietly, “He’s cute, he’s nice, you should jump on that.” Vanessa groaned, “I’m not jumping on anything.” Disgusted, Nia went back to talking to Ariana, she couldn’t stand it when Vanessa always got the attention and always gave it away.

He tried to start a conversation again, “So what are you?” he asked. “I’m a girl,” Vanessa deadpanned. He chuckled at her sarcasm and said, “No, I mean what’s your classification?” Vanessa gave a rare smile and said, “I’m a freshman, how about you?” The young man perked up, excited that she was actually asking him a question for a change. “I’m a sophomore, who’s just really bad at math.” Vanessa giggled quietly and said “Oh, that’s unfortunate.” She started to look at his face, it was warm and his smile was very inviting. He didn’t look that creepy or skeezy for a guy she'd met at a bar.

“Well, now you know my name, but I don’t know yours.” She started to open up just a little. “My name is Anthony.” He said, flashing her another gleaming smile then glanced at her drink. “Hmm, a rum and coke?” he guessed. “Naw,” she said sheepishly, “Just a Coke. I’m not really a drinker” She was a little embarrassed to admit that as a college student, she still didn’t drink. “Really! That’s a shame…” He trailed off. Her hopes for him were dying quickly, she sighed and focused back on her coke. “Because, there’s no point in buying you another one when you already have free refills.” Although his joke was beyond cheesy it made her laugh,

“Yeah, I guess not” she chuckled. He leaned over towards her and spoke softly in almost a whisper “Well since I can’t have the pleasure of buying you a drink tonight, could I at least take you out for one that I can actually pay for? Maybe some coffee?” At this moment Vanessa was thanking the gods that the giggle twins had taken their act to the bathroom and weren’t shamelessly eavesdropping on their conversation. She took a deep breath, as if she were about to take a dive into deep water, “I would really like that.”

Vanessa left the time and the date up to him, and wrote her number on a plain white cocktail napkin. She always felt that writing down her number was more important than putting it in someone’s phone. Writing it down meant the guy had to keep the napkin and think about her to call, instead of rolling through his electronic rolodex after parties trying to see who was best for a booty call. It seemed to work, she got a lot less drunk dials than her friends.

By the time Ariana and Nia got back, Anthony and his friends had headed home, and she was again sitting at the bar alone, staring at her drink. “Hey, where’d cute boy go?” Nia asked, “Shit, and his hot friends are gone too!” Ariana groaned. She looked around the room, sighed and finally said, “C’mon there is no point in staying here any longer it’s empty.” Vanessa walked the girls to the car and drove them back to campus. Inside she was excited and jumpy, but she wanted to keep Anthony to herself, although she loved them, her friends had quite a way of ruining things.

Notes: So I wrote this a little while ago, and I just ya know found it and thought it was pretty fun. There's a first part to it, but it's too familiar for me to share. The excessive use of expletives is natural for the characters, ooh reminds me...Characters. This is me trying to not be embarrassed of my writing.

Vanessa: All around good girl, kinda based of Adriana Colbert + Jurnee Smollett. always thinking deeply about life and turning her petty problems into dramatic events. (oh so I guess there's a bit of me in there too)
Ariana: Friend of Vanessa's. Easygoing freewheeling one of the bunch, Does whatever she pleases and doesn't ask anyone for permission. She has the loudest mouth but the warmest personality.
Nia: Athletic one of the group, she intimidates most people standing at a massive 6’2, but she's really a gentle giant with the girlest tendencies.
James: Vanessa's Ex?
Anthony: Does not and never will exist in real life...I think I made him too perfect

You ain't the only one

Gina turned on her heel and briskly walked out of the door. He wanted to do the same, but he couldn't just leave her like that. He went back to the bathroom to find her in the spot where he had left her.

So Real

Yeah, so this is the second part of my "Story." I don't know what this is.

He sluffed her off of the bar stool and over his shoulder. "Damn Martinis" he muttered. Sighing, he carried her back to the bedroom and laid her on the king sized bed. The bedroom was different from the rest of her apartment, it was decidedly "her." Her walls were a rich aquamarine trimmed with a white molding wrapping itself around the whole room. It was Victorian meets the Bahamas complete with a fake banana tree nestled in the corner and a walk out balcony closed off by windowed doors with French shutters.

She slept peacefully with her dark hair splayed out behind her like a crown. Biting his lip, he tried to figure out what to do with himself. Should he flop down next to her or go crash on the couch in the living room? It wasn't until he felt a slight pressure on his hand, did he realize her hand was still clutching his. "Oh Well" he resolved, and climbed into bed next to her.

The sunlight found it's way through her shutters and right into her eyes. Blinkingly, she adjusted to the light and turned over to peek at the clock, but instead of seeing the glow of the red numbers all she saw was a block of Black and White. Slowly pushing herself up she saw that it was 7:32, "God damn," she thought. Then she turned to inspect the monochromatic block that had hijacked the other side of her bed. The monochromatic block happened to have stout arms and legs, very hairy arms and legs at that. She then came to realize that this quadrilimbed shape was actually a man lying in her bed. She prodded him (whoever "he" was) with her foot. Her only response was a annoyed grunt, followed by him rolling over towards her.

Gasping as she recognized the strange man's face, she jumped out of her bed staring dumbfounded at him. "How, When, What, WHY!" she asked herself. She looked back at the sleeping figure, noticing that he was still fully clothed, she breathed a sigh of relief. Deeming him harmless while he was in a deep state of sleep she padded to her bathroom to go take a shower.

He blinked his eyes twice and sat up in the bed. He looked around and noticed the girly decor and wondered where he was. He heard the busy street below, and looked out over the window. He could tell he was on Ponce De Leon drive, but it still didn't give him a clue to what girl's apartment he was in. The only person who could afford to live on this part of Ponce was his friend Jason, who lived in an apartment right over the store he ran with that girl. That's when he realized, he was in her apartment. With the sharp pain of a bad hangover, the previous night started coming back to him. He was consoling her after she caught her girlfriend cheating on her, and they had ended up drinking quite a bit before passing out. Comforted on knowing where he was and who he was with, he rolled away from the light to go back to sleep. Five minutes later he heard a knock on the one of the doors. He called out for her, but there was no response. Hearing some water running he figured she was in the shower. Meanwhile, the knocking turned into incessant banging. With a sigh he got up, briefly thanking god that he had clothes on, and went to answer the door. Looking through the peephole he saw a tall woman, with a spiky peacock haircut wearing Harvard sweats. He opened the door, only to be brushed past immediately by the tall woman with a look of disdain. "Well is she here, is she okay? She hasn't been answering her phone." Her accent was a thick Boston one, with a hint of Jersey twang, "this must be that bitch Gina" he thought to himself.

"Uhh.. I think she's in the shower" he replied trying to figure out how he was going to get out of the apartment before the shit hit the fan. "Uh, hold on." he went back to the bedroom, to buy some time. He heard the water stop and went to warn her.

She was toweling the last of the water off of her legs when he burst through the door. "Could you knock?" she asked angrily. He smirked and retorted "It's not like I haven't seen it all before." She didn't find it funny but went along drying off. "Well what's so important that you had to barge in on me in the bathroom?" she asked. "Uh, well Gina's in the front room, and she wants to see you." At the mention of that name, the recent events rushed into her head. Gina's accidental voicemail, the crying, the dinner, him. Her legs gave out and she fell onto the bathroom floor. As he went to go help her up, she lifted her head marked with silent tears. "Why would you let her in?" she sighed.

"I didn't she barged past me, and demanded to speak to you." Seeing the pain in her eyes he tried to save her from what was sure to be a very ugly confrontation. "I'll go kick her out." he turned on his heel and made for the door when she called out. "Wait," she hiccuped from her crying, "don't tell her I know." He half smiled, and agreed.

"She doesn't want to see you" he said as he walked back into the living room. Gina looked confused and then mad. "What are you talking about?" she asked angrily. "She said, that she doesn't want to see you, and she'll call you later. Right now, it's best for you to leave." Gina's brow furrowed farther, threatening to become one very thick caterpillar-like unibrow. "Well since we're playing telephone, tell her that if she's gonna act this way I'd rather not see her until she grows the hell up."

This is a little hot, even for me.

She popped in her Sergio Mendes CD and sauntered back to the small bar in the corner of her apartment. "I make a mean Martini, it'll take the edge off, I promise" he said to her. A drink would make her feel better, she was dying on the inside, and a little alcohol would greatly soothe the pain. "Sure, the shaker's in the cabinet behind you," she pointed past him and he quickly got two glasses and went to work. She sat there, swaying her head to the music and getting lost in her thoughts.
"I've never had Sushi before, is it good?" he asked, trying to ease the tension. This wasn't like the first time, the first time they both knew what they came for, but this time with two years ahead of him he didn't know what to expect from her. "Oh it's great, I didn't know what you liked so I got a variety, it'll be great for your first time." she chuckled at her last words. He smiled as he got her meaning and realized he hadn't really spoken to her since their last encounter those two years ago.
Behind her chuckle he could still see her pain, she had just lost her girlfriend in the worst way, and ironically he was the only one around to comfort her. He handed her a drink, and said "Here, Drink up." She took a sip, and set it down to unpack the food they were about to eat. "You weren't kidding," She looked around. "I never really make use of this bar, it's usually just me and Sheila so we just eat at the TV, she's the only company I have." Her voice took a nervous tremble and he jumped in. "Alright, no more of that name, I know you're sad now, but don't mourn, you're a gorgeous single girl, you'll find plenty more guys...erm I mean girls out there who'll be great for you."
He was still unaccustomed to the fact that a girl he messed around with freshman year had become a lesbian. "Damn, she's too good looking to be a Dyke." He thought. She'd really changed over the past two years he had known her too. She lost her pudge that made her womanly curves become a great deal more pronounced. Standing at a short 5'4 frame, she made up for her small stature by never being caught dead without a pair of heels on, creating a serious pair of toned legs and firm thighs. She didn't have much ass for a black girl, but it was enough curve for any man to salivate over. Not to mention, her all natural hair hit her in the middle of her back, and flowed like the sea. He took her in with his eyes, and kept wondering how she could only be attracted to girls. "If I saw that every time I looked in the mirror, I'd go for girls too." He thought smiling.
Her almond eyes were downcast while eating her food, and her full lips were shaped in to a pout of despair. Sensing her sadness he interjected into her thoughts, "What kind is this?" he asked, pointing to an oozing orange piece of sushi with sesame seeds around it. "That's a New York roll, it's a mix of Salmon, Caviar, Apples, and Mayo, I know it sounds weird but it tastes wonderful." She popped one in her mouth eating it whole, washing it down with the last few drops of her drink. "Oh goodness," she chuckled, "I guess I'll have to make my own martini now." She got up and swayed behind the bar, a little buzzed from the first martini.
"So how's life?" she asked, while making the second batch of drinks. "It could be better, but I can't complain. You're doing big things though, running your own shop with Jason." It was true, she opened a shop with his best friend Jason combining his masculine style with her very feminine one. The store was a very successful and fashionable boutique in the Little Five Points area of Atlanta, in fact she lived in a connected apartment right over top of it. "It's really great, it's just extremely hard to manage school with owning a business. I would drop out, but my parents would kill me, they've already paid enough for a Mercedes AMG...I wish I had that instead of these damn student loans" she said whistfully, looking at the picture of her dream car on the far wall. The only butch thing about her was that she loved cars. She drove an 00' Audi, but kept it looking and running like it was brand new. He always bonded with her over cars, and he was partial to her goofy nature.
"There you go with those cars again," he said, acting exasperated. "Shut up, you know you couldn't wait for me to start talking about them again." She smiled, it was her first one of the night and it was as beautiful as ever. Every time she smiled her face glowed, she always smiled with a sense of sincerity that couldn't help but make the receiver of that smile grin as well. They started on their third drink when the topic went to something a bit more serious. "Why do you think she cheated on me?" She asked painfully, looking for him to answer, but he didn't know a good one. "Honestly, I can't tell you why people do the things they do, you will never fully understand anybody, not even yourself." She nodded her head while nursing her drink, "You're so right, I don't even understand myself." she sipped her martini, and kept staring a hole into the carpet. "You and the rest of the world" he muttered.
"You know, you're the reason." she started abruptly. "The reason for what?" he inquired, "Well, you know for the whole girl-on-girl action thing." He was floored, he knew that she had started messing with girls a little after him, but he never knew the how or why. "Why?" he asked. "You really hurt me," she frowned, "leaving me like that." She was referring to their first and only encounter. It had been her first time. He couldn't remember how many times it had been for him. She came over and things happened, but shortly after he had gotten back together with his ex-girlfriend and they had stopped talking. They straightened things out a long time ago and she said it was okay, but apparently it hurt her a lot more than she let on. "I kept lying to myself, but the truth was I had completely fallen for you. I didn't know how far I had fallen until you stopped speaking to me. I really was devastated" She didn't look at him while she said her piece,
"Shortly thereafter I vowed to myself not to let any other man hurt me like that, and to only get emotional with someone who would be emotional back, so I switched to girls." she stated matter-of-factly. He was completely taken aback, he had managed turned her out without even knowing it. "I never meant to hurt you, I'm not good with feelings and I just ran away from them, I knew I shouldn't have, and I regret it to this day." He frowned and mentally punched himself. After sighing and taking another sip of her drink she said, "What's done is done, we can't change the past, everything happens for a reason."
She popped another piece of sushi into her mouth, this time getting a little bit of the overly abundant mayonnaise on the side of her lips. Instinctively, he reached out his thumb to wipe it off, but instead of cleaning his finger off with a napkin, he found it tracing the contours of her lips, and then being sucked into her mouth while she licked the offending sauce away with her tongue. He slowly removed his finger from her mouth and let it slip down the sides of her face, then her neck to her body re-discovering her curves along the way. All the while he stared intently into her eyes looking for approval.
What he found were a pair of smoldering eyes staring at him that spoke volumes

and that's as I got...well Keeping it PG.

Get 'Em High

Artist: Kanye West (Feat. Talib Kweli & Common)
Album: College Dropout

More bored writing... Picked up where I left of, though it scatters sooo

The first year of school is always the hardest year of school, we move away from people that you’ve practically known since birth to meet new people who only have one thing in common with you, living quarters. At least how that’s how Ariana felt about her roommate Cecily. Every time she walked into her room she had a feeling of dread, for if her roommate was there, it would be a time of hell. She took a deep breath and turned the key in the lock opening the door. There she was, Cecily, lounged out on her bed watching television. Not any old television, Ariana’s television. With a scarf on her head, bundled by the covers, and Ariana’s controller in her arm she had manned her post. Ariana walked into the room, hung her coat up in the closet and changed into her boyfriend’s sweatpants and an old tee-shirt, she was exhausted. She went to her desk and pulled out her book for some work that was due tomorrow, when she heard her roommate’s deep voice resonate throughout the small space they shared. “Hey boo!” Damn. She had called her boyfriend again, and probably wouldn’t get off the phone until three in the morning. Ariana was not in the mood for any of it, but she wasn’t about to start a fight either. She put her coat back on, and grabbed her lighter and her Camels and walked out the door. Sitting on the steps of the dorm, she lit up a cigarette and inhaled deeply. She no longer tried to feel the smoke fill her lungs, but instead waited for the nicotine to hit her brain. It zoomed through her head and relaxed her instantly. She slumped on the steps thinking to herself and watching the people pass by. “If she does this one more time, I swear I’m gonna go off on her” she thought, “who am I kidding, I don’t have the balls, she’ll probably cut me.” Tired of mentally contradicting herself, she took another drag and relaxed some more. She saw Nia’s tall lanky figure walking up the steps, and offered her a cigarette. Nia plopped down next to her and lit up, they were two deep souls sharing the smoke and thinking about life. “Fuck roommates.” Ariana blurted out. “Ha, I second that” Nia agreed. “Jasmine is out of her mind today, trying to kick me out my own damn room at four o’clock in the afternoon.” Ariana didn’t know what she was talking about, but she agreed with her in silence. Taking another drag she calmed down even more, “Hey, is it cool if I come study in your room? I mean if that psycho Jasmine bitch isn’t there?” she asked, “Yeah” Nia responded coolly, she threw her cigarette butt into the bushes and got up, swiping the dirt off her butt. “I’ve got some stuff that’ll make you forget about your roommate anyways.”

They were all sitting at the table in the loud cafeteria eating their lunches, “I can’t eat anymore chicken, they’ve like IV’ed it into my system.” Vanessa said, “I think I’ve had chicken in every way imaginable, there are absolutely no other surprises they can come up with.” “That’s what they want you to think.” Janay said slyly as she stole some fried chicken off of her friend’s plate. Nia walked over to them and slammed her lunch tray down on the table. “Señor Patterson is trippin y’all, he gave me another B on my Spanish composition, he was like, ‘Nia nesecito usar los verbos en la forma correcto.’ ” Nia gave a overly dramatic sigh, “It’s not like I’m ever going to use this in real life.” Ariana tried to stifle a laugh, “I mean, it’s not like it’s one of the most widely spoken languages in the world either.” She said sarcastically. When all four of them were seated at the table they shared their stories and jokes, enjoying the break between classes. Every Tuesday and Thursday they were all able to come together and have lunch. It was their time that nobody could get in the way of, filled with joyful simple conversation. They would recite movie quotes, or re-enact funny moments that happened to them, not caring how stupid they looked. They would share their petty problems at the table, but nothing too serious. Money Problems, Family Problems, and shitty GPA”s were all forgotten at lunch time. It was their girl talk that could only be appreciated by best friends. The four of them were so different, but they had the most volatile dynamic as far as friendships go. Vanessa was the fresh faced brooding girl, who was always thinking deeply about life and turning her petty problems into dramatic events. Janay was the perceived wild child who danced to her own drum, her personality was a roller coaster of emotions and she didn’t hide them easily. Nia was the athletic one of the group, she intimidated most people standing at a massive 6’4, but she was really a gentle giant with the girlest tendencies. Lastly there was Ariana, she was the easygoing freewheeling one of the bunch, she did whatever she pleased and didn’t ask anyone for permission. She had the loudest mouth but the warmest personality. Each one of them had their strengths and each one of them had their faults, but they were all friends on the same path at the same point in their lives.

Upgrade U

Artist: Beyoncé
Album: B Day

I was bored and just started writing.

I’m confused, and James is the root of my confusion, he haunts me all the way from Jersey, even his only presence mocks me. I try to divert my mind with the flavor of the month, but he’s stuck in my head. Forever etched in my skull, but why do I go through all of this for someone who never loved me back?

She paused from her writing, fervently biting the tip of her pen as she read over her words. “Well maybe he did love me once?” she thought wishfully. Deep in the back of her mind, she knew that could never be true. He always saw her as a friend, never as something more, and how could she be anything more? Standing at 5’4 with long dark hair, doe eyes, and a button nose, Vanessa was the typical girl next door, always stuck in the dreaded “Friend Zone.” Focusing back on the paper, she realized just how stupid she sounded. She was pining over a boy who she had never once expressed her feelings for, and now while both of them were in college she still couldn’t forget him.
Finished with reflecting back on her mistakes, she closed her Journal and walked over to her desk to finish her homework. Books were strewn everywhere, but there were only two words written on her notebook paper, “Vanessa Abrahms.” How was she supposed to learn about the Blitzkrieg when he was invading her thoughts, with his not so perfect smile, and his all knowing eyes? A sharp buzz rang through the room while her cell phone lit up, and she looked at the screen as “Preston Taylor” flashed across it. She picked it up slowly, not certain if she wanted to hear the voice on the other side. “Hello” she said hesitantly, “Hey Ness,” Preston said in his deep southern drawl “what’s going on?” She could hear his laziness through the crackling speaker of her phone, “I was just thinking about you.” For some reason, this statement should have made her flutter with joy, but instead it filled her with dread, she didn’t know what to say to him. Sure he was kind, loving, attentive, and always there, but that’s not what she needed, although Vanessa really didn’t know what she needed. “Hey Preston, I was just getting into my books, but it’s not working. How are you?” She tried to sound genuine, but her voice her voice was distant. “Are you alright shawty?” he asked, using the southern term of endearment. “Yeah, I’m fine, why wouldn’t I be?” she lied quickly. “You just sound a little out of it.” He was trying to be sweet, but it was having the opposite effect on her. “I’m fine, I’m just tired? You know what, I think I’m gonna take a power nap and then go hit the books later.” She didn’t even wait for him to reply and snapped the phone closed. Unable to focus on anything she splayed out across her small bed and closed her eyes hoping that when she opened them all her problems would be over.

Across the hall Nia was sitting on her bed watching the pictures on the television move without any sound. She was in a place far away, after smoking her second joint of the day. Relaxed and cool, her eyes were glazed over and she didn’t care about anything. She had smoked some good weed. Her eyes snapped to her door when she heard it swing open, only to see her stank roommate come in with her boyfriend again. “Talk about killing my buzz, couldn’t they ever go to his room?” she thought, they were always invading her relax time. Her roommate looked dead at her and made an ugly sound while clearing her throat. She didn’t give a rat’s ass, she was going to stay and stare at the pictures on the television. While a dumb commercial came on, she started to look around the room stopping on her roommate’s boyfriend. His name was John, or at least she thought it was, maybe it was Peter. Peter-John had a rich dark complexion, smooth as melted chocolate, his jaw was very masculine and chiseled sloping down to a strong, prominent, square chin. She looked at his dark pink lips, while sub-consciously licking her own. “I need to get laid” she decided, and rolled over trying to sleep to the not-so-pleasant sounds of two hyper-sexed college students who didn’t understand the word privacy.

Janay stormed into Vanessa’s room without warning. “Get up loser, I’m busting you out.” She looked at Vanessa, or at least the back of her, pitifully sprawled out on her bed. Vanessa turned her head ever so slightly to see her goofy friend. She was wearing a curve hugging pair of bright coral skinny jeans that were tucked into her yacht-sized polka dotted rain boots. As Vanessa scanned up she saw a hideous black and white sweater that could have only have belonged to Bill Cosby, with a bright coral medallion hitting right at her navel. Her face was bent forward in a ghastly expression, which was exaggerated by her short spiky dreadlocks hitting her in the face. For some reason, this whole look worked for Janay, and everyone loved her style but no one could ever imitate it. Janay blinked deliberately for good measure. “Are you gonna get up?” she asked. It wasn’t really a question as much as a demand. “Alright, Alright” Vanessa said slowly squirming away from her comfy bed. Janay wasn’t completely satisfied; she hated to see her friend out of sorts and Ness seemed to be really of it today. “The cafeteria monster is off her meds today and acting really happy, she’s actually scooping out real ice cream, not that frozen yogurt stuff you hate.” she said, hoping it would bring a smile or some hint of joy on Vanessa’s face, but she was staring intensely at her boots trying to pull them on. She was in her own world, her “Oh woe is me world” that Janay just couldn’t stand. She flopped on Vanessa’s bed and made a huge sigh. “What did Preston do this time?” she asked, already knowing it was something in Ness’s tumultuous love life. “He never listens” Vanessa grumbled and dove head first into her pillow. Janay already knew how this conversation was going to pan out, they would go into Vanessa’s numerous “daddy issues” and how she didn’t want a good guy like Preston. Janay would take Preston over that asshole Ness was always talking about any day. “Well that’s not new, boys never listen… we know that.” She turned Vanessa’s Playstation on and started playing a racing game, “I mean, they go out of their way to be stupid,” Vanessa started spouting out the same conversation Janay predicted, she tried her best to sound interested while trying not to crash her car.