"Some Time's You Don't Realize What You've Done, Until You See the Damage"

Song: Damage
Artist: Chris Brown
Album: Exclusive

I wrote this Senior Year of high school, I know it needs work, but I thought it was cute..I can't believe I forgot all about it.

She sat on the train, iPod blaring with thoughts running. Why did she ever come to New York? There was nothing felt but the cold attitude of the people, and the raindrops. She hated the raindrops, every time they touched her they washed away her old-self and replaced it with a cold, dirty, New York exterior. She got off the subway and started walking to her studio. Her empty studio. Many would say she was one of the lucky ones, an apartment in Manhattan without anyone to share it with. Peace. But everytime she climbed those stairs (as she was now) she thought of the vast emptiness. She opened the door to a silent un-cheery room. Nothing greeted her but the blank white walls. “I love New York.” She sarcastically murmured as she walked to her bedroom. As she stepped through the entryway a clean white bed frame claimed attention in the center of the room. Dressed in pastel blue bed sheets with soft white lines drifting over its curves the bed was a beloved sight to see. She dropped her thick black bags and splayed out on her bed for a little rest and recovery. She closed her eyes and smiled for the first time all day.

Her thoughts drifted towards the noises blaring outside her window. This was New York? Where was the impeccably styled Carrie Bradshaw? Where were the starving artists that were so talented they would definitely get signed…tomorrow? Why did people make all of those movies about happy New Yorkers, with great apartments, great jobs, great clothes, great everything. Every New Yorker she knew was just getting by, regretting they ever came here.

“Knock, Knock” Came a voice from the front parlor, bringing her thoughts back from the winding tangent they took. She got up from her bed, and placed her feet on the cold hardwood floor, and walked towards the parlor. She was greeted by the sight of her 20-something delivery boy, Pete, holding a bag of takeout. “You left your door open again, you’ve got to stop doing that.” He said the best fatherly voice he could muster. “I know, I’m just really out of it.”

“Hmm… I hope you haven’t been ordering from Samson’s Delivery service.”

“Haha, nothing like that” she laughed as his allusion to one of her favorite movies, and said. “You know, it’s just this place, there’s no life in it.” Pete stared around at he apartment. "White, white everywhere. Yeah. I mean it could use a bit of sprucing up, some color here, a plant there…” Pete said as he moved to sit down on her barstool. He was rudely cut off, “Not the apartment dummy, New York.” She said, as she sat down to join him. “New York? No life?” Pete looked at her with feigning extreme shock while downing one of the egg rolls he brought her. “You’ve got to be kidding me, there’s so much here, you’ve got the world on a string, I mean, as Sinatra would say.”

She loved Sinatra, and that’s what she loved about Pete, Pete just knew what she loved. “Pete, you know, you’re pretty much my only friend here.” He looked up, from inhaling her Mushu Pork, “What all the girls at the job are dainty bitches?” “Yeah, basically.” She stared off into space, forgetting about New York, and focused on the Georgia magnet on her refrigerator. Pete was talking incoherently in the background. “Hmm this the part where I’m supposed to say you’re beautiful, you’re young, and we should go out for drinks and have a good time. But you know, that I know I’ll never be able to get you to do that.”

She wasn’t even listening; she was lost in a warm sunshine-y world filled with good friends and love. Pete continued, “I mean, I can already predict what you’re gonna do tonight. At 10:30 your going to be curled up in front of the TV watching the soap opera channel while talking to the oh-so-perfect-Austin.” Austin. His name went through her mind like a bullet, and brought her back to her apartment. “Austin? What about Austin?” There was a spark in her eyes. “Oh come on!” Pete pretended to fall off of his chair. “Austin is all the way in Georgia and you’re here. Oh and did I forget to mention, you’re Just Friends and have been for how long? There are a million eligible bachelors in New York and your still suck on some down-home country boy who doesn’t give a damn about you!” Pete’s words stung, but he was right. Austin was a just a Georgia wisp that would never take shape or amount to anything, yet she couldn’t stop thinking about him. What could she do? What would she do? Her brain spun in thousands of directions, she didn’t want to be miserable forever.

She turned to look at Pete, but he was getting up from the stool and heading towards the door. “I love our little chit-chats but I gotta go. Speaking of life in New York, there’s a little piece of it named Charlene...I mean Deborah who’s waiting for me on the back of my bike downstairs.” He flashed her a winning smile, and ran out the door. In a state of shocked disbelief, she rummaged around the contents of the take-out bag seeing if Pete had left her anything, Nothing.