I Can't Believe It

Artist: T-Pain

Album: Thr33 Ringz

So it's the first day of school. I love college, wake up at 7:00 to go to my 8:00 then go back to sleep, until my 11:00. Tee-hee. So I haven't written about my ED in a while. You know that's because sometimes it's bipolar side rears it's ugly head, and who wants to write about compulsive overeating. So, ever since the kid and I got into a fight I haven't been eating right, and when I mean not eating right, I mean just eating Salads at meals. However, someone always does something to get me to eat....college is just one big food fest. Someone orders pizza, someone kidnaps me to go to Chili's, and someone force feeds me bourbon chicken. They still think it's because I'm upset about the kid, but I've made a decision to restrict again.

The kid and I got into it because I can't be upfront about my feelings and I was smoking at some party. :0( 2 cigarettes ...that's pretty good for me. I mean usually I would be chain smoking the shit out of..well I don't know something. I don't think he understands that for a smoker, or an Ex-smoker there's something about alcohol that just makes you CRAVE a cigarette. SO FREAKIN BADLY. It's not even a personal choice sometimes you'll just blink and you'll be like how did this [cigarette] get here, and then it progresses into, Where did this pack go, and then the next morning your voice is gone and you look like death. I'm truly sorry that I upset him and everything, but it's a personal choice and I know I need to stop, but I need to do it on my own terms so I'm not salty about it....hrmmm.

Interesting side note, Bubblegum (oh we're back to that again?) IMed me out of the blue yesterday, actually this morning at like 1:00. I think he was high, actually I guarantee it. He was like "I found your present I got you from LA, I wish it was here, so I could deliver it to you." I was like...hmmm you just want to see if you can get it in. Loser. Although, it was nice to know that someone still liked me (or pretends to), since obviously the kid has other feelings at the moment.

(We're on the Just friends tip for a while....gahh I hate that)

No class till eleven...I think I'll take a party nap.