Lost Ones

Artist: Lauryn Hill
Album: The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill

I haven't written in my blog for a while, and the urge to keep going with that lame short story has left me. But I'm back now, due to a not so noble reason. Insomnia. My roommate kept me up, yelling on the phone with her ex-boyfriend and crying. Selfishly, she did this while in the room, not acknowledging that it was 3:00 in the morning and that sane people really want to go to sleep.

Well, so my mind is racing, thinking of random things, and not so random things. In fact just yesterday I was going through a "Victoria Dilemma" I've decided to title them this because they're really only dilemmas in my head. I tend to dwell on them too much and make them out to be much bigger problems than they are.

So the actual case, was that I developed a crush on Bubble Gum even though I'm taking to Cotton Candy. No big deal, it's just a crush, I mean I still really like CC, I'm still faithful to CC, I still enjoy his company.  But I liked having an alternative I could talk to. However, all of a sudden this alternative clammed up, and I had to think why?

So: I spent all of yesterday and the day before caring more about the opinion of Bubble Gum than anyone else. He doesn't really matter in this whole equation, but I was so frazzled because I'd actually cared about him. I couldn't think, I couldn't write an essay, I couldn't do any work. All I could do was think about him, and not in a good daydream way. Like a "Oh I'm so ashamed" way or "God what did I do for him to get mad at me" or the "Does he know about CC, does CC know about him?". Then I thought about other boys who I happened to simultaneously have an interest in, and then I ended up thinking about "The One" (always a bad thing) and hooking up with Billy (not real name). (Hmm alot has happened since I've been gone) I started looking at myself as a bad person and before I knew it I was in the middle of a complete breakdown.

All because he didn't say Hi back.

Victoria Dilemma.

2 Resoulutions Down!