"It's not right, but it's okay, I'm gonna make it anyway"

Song: It's not Right But It's Okay
Artist: Whitney Houston
Album: My Love is Your Love

I was reading "Addicted", well only the first part, because it' reminds of Flyy Girl and it's cute. I'm really not one for all of Zane's sex scenes, go figure. Anyways so I'm reading the whole saga of Zöe and Jason and I keep having to put the book down to catch my breath. Not because the scenes were too hot (c'mon this is when she was in high school) and not because I got caught up in all the romance, but because I kept reminding myself of the kid and I.

Trust me I didn't want to, I've been said and believed that I need to move on, but I'm stuck. Honestly, I'm starting to get a little pissed about it. How does one party in a relationship (psuedo-relationship in this case) get to move on so quickly and seemingly painlessly, while the other one keeps being reminded of...the good times. Frankly, I felt like I was hit by a bus when it ended. It was completely unexpected {from my side} and there weren't any signs. Then all of a sudden I send a sarcastic text message, he goes off on me, and for the next four months I've been trying to figure out what I did that was so DAMN UNFIXABLE.

I realize that I am very vocal about how I feel to everyone but the one that needs to hear it, it's a problem of mine that I need to work on. But I wouldn't exactly call it a progress motivator when you just get dropped on your ass right quick because you fucked up on a Non-Dealbreaker (Infedelity, Stealing, Lying) and didn't get a chance to fix it.

The Head Doctor was right, I'm a little bit angry and I have no closure.....

and due to that, I can't freaking read romance novels without tearing up and getting pissed off at the same time. Ughh I don't want to be that girl. Have I turned into that girl?