"Wake Up Little Girl, A Broken Heart Can't Be That Bad"

Song: To Be With You
Artist: Mr. Big
Album: Lean into it

For a while I decided to give up on Mr. Big and do my own thing. Mr. Big is no particular person, he's just the figure of semi-perfection. (because no human can be perfect) I've been in serious denial since about August. My friends look at me with that "what are you doing" stare, but they know they can't stop me. However, I can see the brick wall coming, and I'd rather avoid a nasty collision, so I think I need to slow myself down.

I was riding with Chyna in the car, and she asked me, "So how's Bubble Gum?" I was taken aback, I haven't talked about Bubble Gum in a minute, nor have I really thought about him. "I guess he's good? We don't really talk." I replied. Chyna kept grilling me "So, were you guys ever friends?" I thought about it and gave her my honest answer, "not really, no." Whenever I went to see him, it would only end in a hook-up, and pointless conversation until one of us felt the need, not to be awkward like we hadn't been through this before. I tried to justify my answer after it came out of my mouth, "I mean last semester we used to talk almost everyday, but I mean that stopped after the whole...you know." No matter how I tried to justfy my actions, it still came out sounding pitiful.

I didn't think much of it until a mirror was thrust upon me today. I was reading my friend's short story and could point out the character on whom she based on me.

"The next is so hopeless, and lost that she has forgotten all the morals and values she once knew. We'll call her Patty."

Wow....there's another quote but I refuse to put it on here.

Maybe I need to check myself, before I permanently wreck myself.