When Stalking is the New Black

I come before you all today, to address the phenomena known as "Facebook Stalking" and the "Facebook Stalker." 

Facebook Stalking starts out innocent, I know I have been a victim and a perpetrator. You meet someone, most likely belonging to the opposite sex, and you check out/add to their Facebook profile. You want to find out what they're about, if they were actually telling the truth about what class their in, or if they even go to school. If this person is worth anything, you see that they were telling the truth, (not saying that people who don't go to school aren't worth anything, I was simply talking about if he/she was a liar or not.) and you might notice that you are friends with the same people. You might look at their pictures, and then write something dumb on their wall.

End of Story, moving on. Right?

No those are the rules for normal to intense Facebook users. The Facebook stalker, reads his/her status and comments on it, most likely thinking it pertains to them. Then they read the wall and see who else has commented, and how frequently, the same goes for pictures. If anyone threatening comes up on their scan.... say a fellow user (most likely of the same sex) writes something like "Hey baby/hun/darling/snookums/! It was great running into you today LOL!" or if there are any stupid hearts or flirty emoticons, The Facebook stalker will bring up their Facebook profile AND wall-to-wall just to see how innocent the interaction really is.

The Facebook stalker is very fast at finding out information with the click of their mouse. The more bold Facebook stalkers will text you about your status change or even bring it up in real life conversation. With the addition of Facebook chat and Facebook Mobile and that DAMN MINI-FEED, regular Facebook users cannot get away from these addicts and stalkers. God forbid you ever change your relationship status, they will know right away.

Sometimes, you don't know if you are a Facebook Stalker, here are some key signs.

How to Tell if You're a Facebook Stalker:

1. You start a conversation with "So-and-So wrote on this girl/boy's wall and blah blah blah"

2. You notice patterns of couples who break-up and get back together habitually

3. You tag yourself/other people in someone's pictures when you are clearly in the background and have nothing to do with the actual shot.

4. You have your friend, "friend" your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend's new partner so you can look at her/his pictures and statuses

5. You poke at least 20 people a day

6. You friend request someone 5 minutes after meeting them

7. You Facebook chat people you don't even know

8.....You have facebook mobile

9. You meet your stalkee and tell them he/she doesn't look like any of his/her profile pictures

10. You re-create the whole party you missed while you were Facebook stalking by subsequently stalking and putting all the albums together, finding out who was there, what they were wearing, who was drinking so on and so forth.

Don't worry...I know a lot of facebook stalkers, they're generally good people..but some of y'all need to tone it down.

A word of advice, be careful about "The Facebook" (as my father calls it) a lot of people can find a lot of things out in a little amount of time. Guys do it just as much as Girls so don't even start that stereotype, and even though you might not be the object of their interest, Facebook stalkers will find you. Remember, people can see your pictures, your comments towards other people, and things you write about your self. (i.e. status updates) so just make sure you remind yourself that everything you put out on Facebook will become common knowledge, and if you put your relationship up there, you're only asking for it, don't complain. On the inside, you know you wanted the attention.