Under the Bridge

Artist: Red Hot Chili Peppers

Album: Blood Sugar Sex Magik

I told y'all this was gonna get personal.

So it is done. My last pack of cigarettes are officially in a dumpster, and in the near future they are making their way to a landfill where they will no longer be accessible to me. Although I haven't touched my pack in about a month and a half, the mindset was still there. At a party or venue where festivities were taking place I would be outside on the porch, outside the house smoking. Even if I were just chillin with Chyna and she had one, I would bum one off of her, because I kept thinking "Oh I'll just give her some from my room," or "I'll just go smoke when I get home anyways." However this mindset was just a crutch for me to make excuses of why not to quit. I mean, that sounds like a lot, but it really wasn't....(<---excuse)

Yes I had them stashed in a drawer, and yes I continually made my lighters hard to find, but I can't really trick myself, I know what I want and I'll do whatever to get it.

But now is the final straw, I can't keep looking over my shoulder wondering if random people are going to see me. I can't keep thinking in my head that I'm only doing this while I'm in college, it's not even an appetite suppressant anymore it's just there.

Most of all, I don't want to be the Aunt that has to take time out from playing with her nephew to go have some "Alone Time" on the back porch. Or I don't want to always coverup how I smell so I don't disappoint my family. Plus, I don't want to die.

So goodbye Marlboro, Camel, and Newport (eww). Your marketing and additives got me hooked. You had me for 4 years, but now I choose Me.