"Wine For Me, Slow Wine For Me"

Song: Slow Wind
Artist: R. Kelly
Album: TP.3 Reloaded

Notice the Power Tools

Last night at table headquarters we had a little thing we like to call "Wine Down Wednesday." Yes we were fully aware that it was Tuesday, but it just needed to come a day earlier than planned. Yes, it was that serious.

Someone dropped off a bottle of wine as a party favor, and it's been rolling around in the trunk of the 'Rola for a good minute because no one has a corkscrew. I mean c'mon we're in college, we exist in survival mode, if it doesn't cook in the microwave, open with the bottle opener on my keychain, or come out of a vending machine...it's too much effort.

However, this is different, we were going to have WDW come hell or high water. We start banging the bottle on the counter to see if the pressure will pop the cork out. Nope. I ask my friend Kitty, if he has any power tools, so he gets the Black & Decker out and we start going to work on this damn cork. But apparently it's as sturdy as Nikki's Mailbox and refuses to move. So then we decide to get an Allen Wrench, and see if we can use leverage to get it out. Nope.

So we go back to method number two when all of a sudden the cork sinks halfway down, and subsequently splashing me with the fermented grape drink. So then Chyna says "well push it all the way in!!!" So Kitty hands me a knife and I start pushing the cork in. Success!!!! (But I cut my hand)

In true comic style, Kitty's roomate's come out to see what the comotion was, and then proceed to walk to the drawer and pull out a corkscrew. Damn we need our own sitcom.