"Got A Secret, Can You Keep It?"
Song: Secret
Artist: The Pierces
Album: Thirteen Tales of Love and Revenge
What happens when a friend betrays you? What happens when you betray a friend? What happens when the friendship has run it's course, and it's time to let go?
Right now I'm pressed with all of these situations, what to do, what to do, what to do?
Act 1: The Friendship
I met Venus in my Freshman year of college through the Glee Club. We both worked really hard and wanted to sing in Christmas Carol, by default we became fast friends. We were both from the suburbs up north, (she lived a state away from me) so we reminisced about the mutual comforts of home. We had the same sense of humor, liked the same things it was an easy friendship. We spent time in each others dorm rooms, doing hair and homework. I would call her out on her bullshit, she would call me out on mine.
Act 2: The Strain
Venus had a tendency to lie a lot, about stupid little things, like how much money she had, what kind of car she drove, and what colleges she got into. I didn't really sweat the small stuff, those were her insecurities not mine. We left for the summer as pretty good friends, but we never saw over the break even though we lived 40 minutes away from each other. I was a little perturbed by it, but hey circumstances are circumstances. We get back to Spelman and things are just different. We don't kick it like we used to, we've got a new circle of friends and she starts tagging along with a new girl. I don't mind it, I'm not even put off by it, but I do notice that I've grown a certain way and she another.
Act 3: The Betrayal
We don't really kick it on a personal level anymore, we go out to parties and stuff but that's it. Hey, we all grow apart and we know it, there's nothing we can do about it. At least I wasn't upset by it. One day at the end of the semester, as we're packing up to leave, she told another friend that she had a blog. Naturally I was supportive of it, because I was so hype about my blog. So I went and read it. It was a collection of "Short stories" which were actual real life events, but she had just changed people's names. It was pretty transparent but very interesting because apparently there were a lot of secrets I didn't know about. (typical girl drama) Then I read this one part where she came out and blatantly called me a whore. I was hurt, extremely hurt. She knew me, and knows that's not me at all and yet she still called me a whore. (Oh should I mention that she said I was a nice girl?) I was pissed, and I told her about it. I said, "Why would you think that, and then why would you post it on the internet, instead of telling me you felt some type of way?" She came up with some bullshit excuses
Act 4: The Aftermath
After that we had left for Winter Break, I resolved to forgive her because everyone makes mistakes, and I too had made the mistake of not being upfront with my feelings. However, when we came back, I just couldn't get over how she saw me. A nice little whore who had lost her virtuous ways . She thought she was better than me, and I couldn't take it. I also knew that we had grown apart during the previous semester, and it wouldn't be anywhere near the same if we tried to be friends after this incident. Friendship was not an option, I could be civil, but I couldn't even be nice. I don't say Hi to her, or extend to her any type of kindness, I don't include her in my conversations or my plans. I know we share mutual friends, but we don't kick it with each other.
I know I might have cut hard, but when I'm a friend, I'm loyal no matter what, and when you take that loyalty for granted it hurts so badly. You know who I am, all my insecurities all my faults and you sit there and say something you know would hurt if I heard it...that's not friendship that's just shiesty.
Friendship is something that should be coveted and worked on, but sometimes you can only work on it so much.
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